To "AIDAN"
That’s what they had me believe. What I thought I believed in for the longest time. What I was supposed to believe. But I was born a rebel. And I always question everything. I need proof all the time. I never take anything for granted. Isn’t there?
He, you, cured me from love.
Or wasn’t love there to begin with?
I know it wasn’t lust. As much as I would have liked for us to touch. But it was on the platonic side more than anything. I’ve never been into much more than kissing and hugging and a bit of cuddling anyways. Wasn’t going to change that with and for him, you!
But then again, I was pretty much taken with him, you. Way into deciphering the signals he, you, sent. Too keen on the smile. Interested. Ready. Open to possibilities, all…
And there were sparks alright. Infatuation? Crush? Wanting what’s bad for you? The beginning? Anticipating? Waiting?
The beginning.
And he, you, cured me from it all. And I should be thankful.
Well, I’m not just relieved; relieved that I didn’t have to go through with something I neither knew where to take or how to end. I would have been so out of my element had he, you, chosen differently. I don’t do relationships. Dealing with men is not my forte. I don’t know men. (Not that they know me any better!) I don’t know how to want and hold on and be my proud self at the same time. I always end up losing one to the other. I don’t know how to want and hold on. I don’t know how to be wanted and to give. Anything out there that I do know?!?
It was a good thing that he, you, knew. You at least know what you don’t want. Me that is! Thanks for making it easy on me. Thanks for leaving me a way out. Thanks for making me back off before it was too late. Thanks…
I’ll be around. Can we be friends?...
That’s what they had me believe. What I thought I believed in for the longest time. What I was supposed to believe. But I was born a rebel. And I always question everything. I need proof all the time. I never take anything for granted. Isn’t there?
He, you, cured me from love.
Or wasn’t love there to begin with?
I know it wasn’t lust. As much as I would have liked for us to touch. But it was on the platonic side more than anything. I’ve never been into much more than kissing and hugging and a bit of cuddling anyways. Wasn’t going to change that with and for him, you!
But then again, I was pretty much taken with him, you. Way into deciphering the signals he, you, sent. Too keen on the smile. Interested. Ready. Open to possibilities, all…
And there were sparks alright. Infatuation? Crush? Wanting what’s bad for you? The beginning? Anticipating? Waiting?
The beginning.
And he, you, cured me from it all. And I should be thankful.
Well, I’m not just relieved; relieved that I didn’t have to go through with something I neither knew where to take or how to end. I would have been so out of my element had he, you, chosen differently. I don’t do relationships. Dealing with men is not my forte. I don’t know men. (Not that they know me any better!) I don’t know how to want and hold on and be my proud self at the same time. I always end up losing one to the other. I don’t know how to want and hold on. I don’t know how to be wanted and to give. Anything out there that I do know?!?
It was a good thing that he, you, knew. You at least know what you don’t want. Me that is! Thanks for making it easy on me. Thanks for leaving me a way out. Thanks for making me back off before it was too late. Thanks…
I’ll be around. Can we be friends?...
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